Today will be my first day going back to work after this horrible sickness. It's bittersweet for me. 4 days off, with nothing to worry about but laying in bed and feeling better was so incredibly nice and relaxing. This was definitely something I needed, just wish it didn't go hand in hand with coughing up a lung, running a fever, and feeling like death. However, I am so anxious and ready to get back to work. I miss the interactions I get from work. I meet so many amazing and interesting people, and I miss my coworkers! I'm actually feeling better today. Today I actually feel normal, and I can go for more than 30 minutes without coughing until I can't breathe. I like this healthy feeling. I've missed it.
After being holed up inside the house, I have this unnerving desire to get out and explore. No, I'm not going Christopher Columbus exploring. I just miss the world. I miss going out on days off, or days I don't go in until late and doing something or nothing- just being out. I have become so consumed with making sure I have someone to do something with or somewhere in particular to go. I need to realize that I can go out alone. I can have fun by myself, and not necessarily doing anything special. The best things in life are free- I have always been told that from very little. I think I've lost sight of that, too. I need to open the blinds, and let some light in. I need to air out the house, do some spring cleaning, and enjoy my life more. No, I'm not rich- I'm struggling. But I am alive, and I am healthy for the most part. This should be the best time of my life, and I am too busy worrying about petty things to enjoy it. I need to grab ahold of my boyfriend, and take him for a picnic on the beach, or go on a walk. Something...anything. We need to find each other again, and we need to find ourselves. So this is my vow. From this point forward, once a week I'll do something free, something fun, and something outside. I'm going to enjoy life.
I just realized that as I'm getting better, my restless legs are from not going to the gym! I need to get my butt back in gear and get my butt back into the gym. This time, however, I'm going to pace myself. Results aren't going to come as fast as I want them to. I need to realize that a steady pace is even better than an overload of working out. I can and will get to where I need to be. I have never been more excited!! I feel so much better when I work out, and I feel like I am finally taking control of my life. The gym and I are becoming great friends, and I have a feeling we're only going to get closer. ;)
I don't know why I decided to write, there really was no purpose to this blog, but I just want to let it all out. There isn't really anything important, but it's something I want to share. I just want to talk, and talk, and talk. And people probably don't want to listen. But maybe I should let them be the deciding factor in that. I should give people the opportunity to hear what I have to say and how I'm feeling. I might even be surprised at how many people are willing to listen, and will open up to me too! I need more friends. I need more people to surround myself with who are good, genuine people. There are so many people I know who are like that, I just hold them off. It's time for me to let the walls down, and enjoy the people in my life. I'll start that today too! With all these resolutions it's like New Year's! Speaking of that, can you believe the holidays are here?! I'm definitely not ready. But, ready or not here they come!
Until next time...
I'll be here, becoming Erin.
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